Life isn’t always easy. You don’t always control the things happening to you. People I love have died. People I love are suffering with mental health problems. Becoming an adult meant having responsibilities and those come with unpleasant tasks.
I’m a people pleaser. I have a hard time saying no to anyone. I put the needs of others before my own needs. I’m often insecure, don’t feel proud of myself. Sometimes I feel like I’m in this dark place, not loved, not wanted, not useful. I have to do everything right and am unable to do so.
A few years back I visited a psychiatrist and I learned so much about myself. Most important things I learned where: I enter that dark place because I put everybody’s needs before my own needs and it is alright to be sad. Understanding yourself is a very important step. I now see how all those things in the above paragraph are connected. Changing yourself is even more important and even more difficult than understanding yourself.
I have managed to learn how to say no. I have learned how to grieve and that it’s okay to grieve. I have learned my needs are important and I have learned to do something for those needs. But it’s a constant struggle, it needs a lot of attention. Most time I’m unaware of the things I do to take care of myself and being unaware of self care means I don’t feel like caring of myself and that is bringing me back to that dark place where I don’t want to be.
At first I started this blog to show of the things I make and to participate in several creative challenges. Then I became an almost fanatic member of swap-bot and most of this blog was about the swaps I do there. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about self care and I feel I want to do something within this theme. A google search learned me I already do lot’s of things that are considered to be caring of yourself. Now it’s time to become aware of that and I hope you will follow me in this journey. This still will be a creative place and a place to explore. But I will try to incorporate these things with taking care of myself.
I hope my journey will motivate you to take good care of yourself as well and to live a creative life. I know I will make mistakes, I know I will set goals for myself I can’t live up with. I’m only human, not a superhero, but I do want to love that not so flawless human being and take good care of her.
In the next few weeks or months (maybe years) I will try to figure out what my values are and what I can do best to nurture them. I want to learn more about mindfulness and meditation. I want to try some tutorials I found that should help to relax and heal. All those exercises I have found online for free. I will share those on this blog and also my experiences and I hope you will join me in this journey. I will host some swaps connected to this subject on my group and I invite you all to join. I’ve also created a facebook group where we can chat about this subject and share the things we’ve learned and show the art we’ve made. You all are invited to join and to explore what you need and how to incorporate those needs in daily life.